Entertaining.

I like being entertained. Who doesn’t? A bunch of people freezing in time to throw a bunch of passerbys at a train station off? Classic. Telling a crazy lady you’re a doctor when you’re not? Funny. Walking past that lady while she screams “Doctor! Doctor!” while you have a confused look on your face? Kinda mean but still nonetheless, HILARIOUS.

Entertainment is what it is. Another thing that it happens to be is temporary and pointless. Sure you can chuckle and laugh hysterically but once that YouTube clip is done, you're there sitting by yourself. Kinda lonely, isn’t it?

Entertaining things are captivating but can also become a waste of time. A lot of people get sucked into being entertained so much that when they aren’t visually stimulated they get bored. It’s funny because a lot of it involves sitting on your ass. One of my many talents might I add.

One of the problems I have is finding joy in entertainment. Sure I can watch a TV series because I’m curious to know what happens next but after I do I’m always like “What a fucking waste.” Tell me I’m alone in this.

There are very few things I actually find joy in. I don’t have hobbies (well not true if that includes sitting on my bum). I work at a job I don’t particularly like (loathe is the better word). And though I thank the Big Guy upstairs for not having petty drama, I don’t have much of a social life.

Are these the things that bring people joy? Happiness? Because if it is well then that just effing pathetic. Some Greek geezer said that man’s purpose in life is the pursuit of happiness. While I don’t think this is the main purpose (stupid geezer) I think it has some truth in it. I don’t see any happy people being suicidal or dropping dead so, yeah I agree partially.

I find myself constantly thanking God for not having problems because I know what it’s like to be in serious shit. Not fun at all. But I also constantly find myself asking is it what it really boils down to? Being completely miserable or bored? What about the freakin joy, experiencing life, taking life by the horns and and and…doing something with the damn horns.

I wanna be productive and do something…can’t believe I’m saying this…that will change the world for the better. Ugh. I know I have an idealistic mindset. Well forgive me for thinking that this world can be a place of rainbows and dinosaur sized unicorns that burp skittles, I haven’t lost complete vision of dreams.

What I’m trying to say is that I could care less about the number of friends I have if all they’re going to do is keep me ENTERTAINED. And while we’re on the subject I’m effing sick of eating out! Damn it. I hate wasting money on crap I can make at home. And if we’re being frank, I’m also sick of hearing about who’s doing what or who-I DON’T CARE.

Not that I’m starting a charity or anything but what about all of this other shit that matters? I don’t even know about half the issues that do need helping (way to prepare yourself, idiot) but just because I don’t know doesn’t mean I’m not willing to learn.

I just wanna feel useful and find joy in doing something useful. I feel like a waste of space and I’m bored with it. And I’m tired of drowning boredom with episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Revenge.